Have you ever been told, you're defensive"? Most often, this sounds like an accusation, not an observation, coming at a time when we are likely feeling the need to protect ourselves. Defenses,inandof themselves, can be a part of healthy functioning. They are a part of our emotional immune system, protecting us from perceived, and/or real [...]
Communication is vital to keeping intimacy in a relationship, and it consists of talking, listening and understanding. Usually each spouse is really skilled at one of these. There are those who find pleasure in talking. This can be either gender. Most of us do not mind talking if we are talking about something we enjoy or are passionate about. Some enjoy talking so much they do so without pausing long enough to see if anyone is listening. And others are good at listening. They do not need to offer an opinion or advice. They are just willing to be with you to listen to what is on your mind and in your heart.