Too many times in my experience and the experience of many of my marriage and family therapy colleagues, a middle-aged couple (40s to 65-ish) will present for marital counseling, and the husband will be shocked to discover his wife is done. These couples often come for counseling at the husband's initiative, a reversal of the [...]
A friend of mine called the other day and asked for guidance about how to forgive. Following our conversation, I thought the ideas we shared could be helpful with others struggling to forgive. Here are three aspects of forgiveness we explored. 1. Forgiveness is an organic process, not mechanical, not subject to absolute willpower or pure moral obligation. Forgiveness has its own course of healing from within. Wanting to forgive is, of course, necessary. But this alone does not make it happen. Time is essential; time for us to grow and to be ready to forgive and time for the spirit to work within us, preparing us for the forgiving. We don't control the when, but we can invite the willingness.
